Getting married is the beginning of a wonderful journey. Marriage is not all about love. The failure and success of a marriage depends on how well the couple deals with issues such as in-laws, communication, finance, sexuality, leisure time, parenting, conflict and expectation. The early stage of a marriage is the time to learn about each other and later prepare to explore each other in depth for a life time journey.
Now if you are involved in church, seek some good advice off the Priest. They shall be a good support for you also. Places of worship often provide family counselling. Additionally they could aid you to converse to your husband or wife, and ways to clear up the complications you are confronted with. They are able to let you know of different places where you can find advice..
Whenever you verify all these factors and you see that the psychologist fits within your budget you can schedule a consultation and see if you like him/her. Remember the undeniable fact that during marriage counseling you should completely trust your counselor. At times we simply cannot trust a few individuals. If that is the truth with a professional just move to another one.
I also offered J. an alternative to empty-nest syndrome for her to consider, looking at another theoretical ground and potential explanation: the Push-Pull theory. Generally speaking the concept holds that most deviations from a relationship is not because the person is being pulled (attracted) to a new circumstance or a relationship but mainly because he or she perceives that they are being pushed away from their current one.
Change! Be real with yourself – I’m talking brutally honest here. You need to “man-up”. Your wife didn’t leave just because you left the toilet seat up one too many times! There are some real serious issues that you are going to have to take an honest look at and come up with ways of replacing them with new, positive and constructive habits and attitudes. Consider the things your wife complained about and the things that bothered her. If they are legitimate then change them. There can be no excuses here, no ifs, ands, ors or buts. You must be willing to set your pride aside and realize you are going to have to do some things differently if you want your marriage to work. Change is the third monumental, and perhaps the pivotal, piece in the “how to get your wife back after a separation” puzzle.
At this point although I knew most of the details concerning the history of the abusive relationship I was not sure I completely understood the current context of this marriage. “Are you and your husband still together?” I inquired. “He… ah, he moved out a week ago and went to live with a friend.” She answered me in a somewhat quieter voice.
Friends and family, can give you their help on your marriage problems, particularly if they’ve had similar difficulties in their own relationship. But, given that not two relationships are identical, so you need to adjust their guidance to fit into your marriage.
A marriage counselor online can help you if you feel hesitant in getting face-to-face counseling. You can also make the most of online counseling if you do not feel at ease or comfortable with facing a therapist one on one. Going online means you will have a certain level of secrecy and can slowly ease your way out of your shell and finally get the guidance you need.